Why didn't you say so?

I have been on such an emotional roller coaster lately. I don't quite understand. I have always been a bit of an emotional person but this is much more that usual. It is really stressing me out. I haven't heard from my friend who was supposed to go in for induced labor today. I am hoping everything is alright. She had some other complications so I just hope that she is have a long labor and nothing went wrong. I may try to call her at the hospital tomorrow afternoon. Maybe she will call me in the morning and I won't have to worry anymore.

Work has just been stressful lately. I am so over it right now. I go through these phases where I am just ready to quit and find a new job. But I really don't want to lose the job security and I would be hard pressed to find another job with the great benefits that I have now. So after a long day at work, I had to go to school... the instructor I have on Mon and Wed is a total airhead in my opinion. Fist off, I will be gone next week (on my cruise, woohoo!), which this trip was planned long before I even considered going back to school. Anyway, I talked to her the first night of class about me being gone, and she told me that she would see what she could come up with for me to make up the missed classes (as well as I wanted to know what I would miss as far as assignments, so I could be prepared for when I returned to class the following Monday). So I sent her an email over the weekend to remind her about me being gone and that I was still waiting for her to provide me with that information. I didn't hear back from her (she claims to be really good about responding to email, but both emails I have sent her, have gone pretty much unanswered until late the night before our next class and then this last one until we were in class. She then proceeded to pretty much blast me in front of the entire class about being gone and that she was unhappy about it and on and on... I was so furious about that... I do have to say though, she then gave us her extra credit assignment she would accept for the semester. It seems like it will be pretty easy and she is giving it a pretty hefty point value for extra credit. Then on top of that, last Monday we were given a project to work on which is due next Monday. Since I am going to be gone, I was planning on having it ready to turn in on Wednesday. This assignment was originally given to us with limited guidelines, and she told us to just go with it, she wanted to see what we came up with. So I worked my butt off this weekend trying to get as much done as possible since I also have work and class tomorrow... tonight when she heard people starting to freak out about how they didn't understand the assignment etc, she decided to give us more "guidance" on it. People start asking questions and she starts getting more specific about what she wants, and on and on... now I have to practically start all over, as what I have done already, doesn't meet her "guidelines." Ahhhhh!!!!!! I just want to write her a scathing email telling her what I think of what she has done, but I have to keep reminding myself, this is the lady who will be grading me for the rest of the semester (this is only the 3rd week of classes). So I walk out of there absolutely furious, again wondering what I was thinking when I decided to go back to school... This just topped it off...I am driving home, my mind on school (and my friend, who at this point, I am starting to worry about a little bit), I am on a dark state highway, I look down and I am going 13 over the speed limit, and no sooner do I notice this and go to slow down, I also notice a sheriff's deputy sitting there, and I know he is working traffic enforcement... Sure enough, I pass him and he pulls up behing me with lights, pulling me over... I am going to get a ticket. Although at the same time, I am hoping he will check my driving record and notice that it is spotless... I hand him my registration, insurance and license and proceed to apologize to him. He goes back to his car to do the normal driving and warrant clearance. I know he is writing me a ticket because it is taking too long if he is just going to give me a warning. He walks back up with his clipborad (with a ticket attached to it, for yours truly, he asks for my home phone number (which I willingly give him), then he asks me where I work... this is where the evening perks up... I work for a local police department (this is another reason why I would like to stay at my current place of employment :-)) He just looks up at me with a look of frustration... asks me what I do there (I work in the records office), and then he says to me while handing me back my papers without a ticket, "Why didn't you say something earlier?" "Sorry, sir." "Just drive safe..." Thank you Deputy Compton, you made my day... actually it was probably more like YOU MADE MY WEEK!!!! (just for the record, I know I could have probably saved myself some time and stress wondering if I would be getting a ticket if I HAD said something earlier (we all take care of our own), and I seriously considered this as I saw those red and blue flashy lights pull out behind me, but I also know that I probably really did deserve that ticket and would have taken it. There is a bit of an ethical question with that too... I will tell them if they ask but I don't know if I could consciously try to use that to get out of something I really truly deserve).... So once again, THANK YOU Deputy Compton... He is my angel this week and I will jump through hoops for him if he ever needed anything from our office. So I actually pulled back out onto the highway with a smile on my face and a chuckle in my throat...

Before I get to that....

Well, here it is a week later and I have my Friday's Feast ready to go. But since I haven't posted yet this week, I thought I would fill in a little bit before I get to that. I am just trying to remember what I was going to post about earlier this week... now I don't know. It has been a bit uneventful but not boring. Don't remember if I posted about this earlier, but about a month or so ago, I got hit in my car... my car I have only had for 4 MONTHS!!! It's a 2006 Honda Civic and I LOVE IT! Anyway, I got hit and it had to go to the body shop. I missed my car soooo much and despised the rental I got. Well, I got my car back today. I keep thinking, I need to name her... but I don't know what to name her. I am sure something will come to me eventually. I have never named a car so I am going to take my time on this.

Last Saturday my friend L had her baby shower. It was up north so we drove up there together. It was nice to see her again. She moved about an hours drive away so I don't see her as often as I would like. I did tell her that when she has that baby, I will be there a lot more. I need to make good on that too. I will benefit two-fold. I will get to enjoy the baby and I will have the company of my friend again. The thing that stinks is... I am going to be on my cruise the week of her due date. I told her she either needs to have him the week before or the week after. Not that she has any control over it but...


I finally decided what I am going to do for my birthday... I am going to NYC!! I have been there once but didn't get to see any of the sights really. We just drove around looking for a place to park... no fun. I leave Jan 6th and come home on the 9th. I am going to freeze my butt off but it will be fun. I hope to go see Mary Poppins on Broadway. That was my favorite movie when I was a kid... that and the original Cat in the Hat. I still love Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Soundtrack of My Life

I just played this game that I got from another blog, and I thought I would
see what it gave me. Try it out.... it will have you laughing too. Here is
what you do:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that�s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don�t lie and try to pretend you�re cool�

Opening Credits: Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You - Kellie Pickler
Waking Up: When Love Comes Down - Point of Grace (oops... I have Christmas
songs in here too)
First Day At School: The Lady Is a Tramp - Frank Sinatra
Falling In Love: So Says I - The Shins
Fight Song: Just a Kiss - Steve Holy
Breaking Up: Ol' 55 - The Eagles
Prom: You Rescued Me - Jamie O'Neal
Life: Whenever You Remember - Carrie Underwood
Mental Breakdown: To Be With You - Jamie O'Neal
Driving: Under the Weather - KT Tunstall
Flashback: Nice N Easy - Frank Sinatra
Getting Back Together: The Hunger - Steve Holy
Wedding: Where I Began - Caedmon's Call
Birth of Child: Hearts In Celestial Union - Gandalf (came on the computer,
it's a little strange)
Final Battle: Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
Death Scene: (There's Gotta Be) More to Life - Stacie Orrico
Funeral Song: If I Was Jesus - Toby Keith
End Credits: One Day Closer to You - Carolyn Dawn Johnson

To be honest, I was a bit disappointed in this. I was hoping more of them
would be more fit for what part of my "life" they were associated. I wonder
what it would come out if I tried it one more time.....

Opening Credits: You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone - Brooks and Dunn
Waking Up: I Just Can't Live a Lie - Carrie Underwood
First Day At School: Talk to Me - Lee Ann Womack
Falling In Love: When You Get To Me - Lee Ann Womack
Fight Song: (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons - Nat King Cole
Breaking Up: Something Worth Leaving Behind - Lee Ann Womack
Prom: You're Not Alone Tonight - Keith Urban
Life: Good Together (Bucket and Chicken) - SheDAISY
Mental Breakdown: Song For Dad - Keith Urban
Driving: She's My Kind of Rain - Tim McGraw
Flashback: Take It Easy - The Eagles
Getting Back Together: Sweet - Toby Keith
Wedding: The Next Time You Go - Eugene Edwards
Birth of Child: I've Got the World on a String - Frank Sinatra
Final Battle: Lie To Me - Pushmonkey (not my kind of music, came on the
computer)
Death Scene: When We Are One - Gabriel Mann
Funeral Song: Is That a Tear - Tracy Lawrence
End Credits: Where We Belong - Jamie O'Neal

Okay, so it wasn't much better the second time around. Maybe it will work
better for others.

30 Questions

I love these things where you get to answer questions about yourself. As
cheesy as they may seem, I think some of them can really make people think
about things and you could really learn something about yourself with them.
So here I go with another one.

1) What side of the heart do you draw first? Right

2) Can you dive without plugging your nose? Nope.

3) What color is your razor? Blue

4) What is your blood-type? B (don't know whether it's positive or negative)

5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? I don't think I could take
24 hours tied to anyone. I am really anal about my "personal space"

6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you? I don't know that I have
ever heard one.

7) How do you feel about carrots? I will eat them raw (cooked ones are
slimy)

8) How many chairs at the dining room table? 4, although the dining room
table is only used for craft projects or wrapping gifts.

9) Which is the best spice girl? Don't even remember all their names.

10) Do you know what time it is? Bedtime

11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince song? Well this is a story
all about how my life got flipped turned upside down...

12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? If I was by myself
or just a couple people I already knew, I would be okay, otherwise I might
freak out.

13) Whats your favorite kind of gum? I like all kinds. I do really like
watermelon though.

14)T or F: Alls fair in love and war. False

15) Do you have a crush on anyone? Someone at work, but in case anyone I
work with were to stumble across this, I am not going to name names. There
was this guy who I used to work with who I was absolutley crazy about and
one of my co-workers found out about it and sunk her nails into him. That
co-worker is a whole other post in and of itself and maybe I will take the
time to put that down here sometime.

16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
If I don't know what it means, I don't use it.

17) Do you like to sleep? I LOVE to sleep!

18) Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings? Arizona, and
Indiana (don't know if there are any others)

19) Do you know the song Total Eclipse of the Heart? A little before my
time.

20) Do you want a bright yellow 06 mustang? That would be fun. I like the
new retro design and yellow is my favorite color.

21) What's something you've always wanted? A child.

22) Do you have hairy legs? It's winter, do you really think I would waste
my time on shaving my legs when no one sees them except me?

24) Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Neither. Lakes give me
the eebie jeebies, and I have a seriously irrational fear of sharks.

25) Do you wear a lot of black? I think I wear a moderate amount.

26) Describe your hair. Just above my shoulders and drives me crazy because
it flys in my face.

27) Do you have Entomophobia? Do I have WHAT!? (see question 16)

28) Are you an adult? I at least pretend that I am

29) Where are your best friends? Florida, about 2000 miles away from me,
not close enough.

30) Do you have a tan? I never have a tan.

31) Are you a television addict? My name is R and I am a tvholic.

32) Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? I better, I am going to be
on a cruise ship with her in the same room for a week.

33) Are you a sugar freak? Yep

34) Do you like orange juice? I like it although I don't drink it a lot. I
am partial to apple juice.

35) What sign are you? Capricorn

36) What color is your Cell Phone? Black

37) Where do you wish you were right now? Paris

Misc. Thoughts

I don't really have some deep contemplative writings to put down here. Just a few thoughts that cross my mind on a pretty regular basis:

-- How can people do such horrible things to others. This is such a terribly tragic story that you can feel your heart drop when you hear it.

-- I want to go to Europe. I say this A LOT!!! I really do want to go. As much as I really can't afford it right now, I am going to do everything in my power to make it happen this year. I had been thinking about taking 3 weeks or so in a couple years and spend it over there, but the more I think about it, the less I want to wait. Maybe if I go see Paris and London this year, I can see some other places when I go in a couple years.

-- I miss my friends terribly. They live in Florida and I can't be there nearly as much as I want to be. Maybe I can make a long weekend in January.

-- Is it time for my cruise yet? We have our plane tickets to fly down to Florida. Got them for a steal. Less than $250 for both my mom and I, round trip, non-stop! My travel agent was even amazed.

-- Christmas will be here before we know it. Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away. I have my shopping started (what I haven't done, I have no idea what I am going to get). I will hopefully have my stuff for my cards this week, so I can get them done while I am housesitting the week of Thanksgiving.

A Little About Me

Are You:
1. A Cuddler? Yes
2. A Morning Person? Not in this lifetime.
3. A Perfectionist? Only in some areas of life. For the most part, I am
very disorganized.
4. An Only Child? Yes
5. Catholic? No
6. In Your PJs? Yes
7. Currently Suffering from a Broken Heart? It has finally healed.
8. Okay Styling Other Peoples Hair? I can french braid... does that count?
9. Left Handed? The only thing I can do with my left hand is eat.
10. Addicted to MySpace? I just go on there to keep up with a few friends
from college... maybe 1-2 a month.
11. Shy Around the Opposite Sex? Before I get to know them... although I am
like that around all people.
12. Loud? Not really

Do You:
1. Bite Your Nails? When I am nervous/stressed
2. Get Paranoid at Times? Not really
3. Currently regret something you have said/done? Not that I can think of
4. Curse Frequently When You Get Mad? Only when I am REALLY mad.
5. Enjoy Country Music? Yes
6. Enjoy Smoothies? Yes
7. Enjoy Talking on the Phone? Yes
8. Have a Lot to Learn? There is a whole world of information out there
that I have to learn.
9. Have a pet? I have 2 dogs, border collies Sadie and Anna
10. Have a Tendency to Fall for the "Wrong" Person? I have only fallen for
one... don't know that I would say he was the "wrong" person, but he was
obviously not the one I was supposed to be with.
11. Have all Your Grandparents Died? None of them.

Have You:
1. Been Told you Are Smart? Yes
2. Had a Broken Bone? Yes, my arm/elbow
3. Changed a Diaper? Many
4. Changed a Lot Over the Last Year? Not really
5. Had Friends Who Have Never Seen Your Real Hair Color? No
6. Had Surgery? On my broken arm/elbow
7. Killed Anyone? If I did do you really think I would admit it.
8. Had Your Hair Cut in the Last Week? No

Last Person Who:
1. Saw You Cry: My mom, I was feeling really down
2. Went to the Movies With You: My mom and dad, don't remember what we went
and saw though.
3. You Went to the Mall With: My mom
4. You Went to Dinner With: My mom... I am seeing a pattern here.
5. You Talked to on the Phone: If you don't count the quick call to my mom
after work today, it was my friend BJ in Florida.
6. Said "I Love You" to and Meant It: Just my family members and close
friends.
7. Made You Laugh: My uncle sent me a really funny email.

Would You Rather:
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Nose
2. Be serious or be funny? Funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Whole
4. Die in a fire or drown? Neither really.. but if I had to choose, fire.
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Parents

About You:
1. What Time is it? 10:59 pm
2. Name? R (leary about putting my real name on here for all to see)
3. Nicknames? None (that I am willing to put out there)
4. Where were you born? Denver, CO
5. What is your birthdate? January 7
6. What do you want? A family to raise.
7. Where do you want to live? I would like to live in a small close knit
town (think Stars Hollow on Gilmore Girls)
8. How many kids do you want? I always said that I would like a couple of
my own and then adopt but right now at this point in my life, having my own
children isn't such a priority, there are too many children out there in the
world who need a loving family.

Get to Know Me

I have seen this on a bunch of blogs that I follow and thought I would add it to mine.
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME: For the sake of anonimity I will just say...R..
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My parents middle names combined to make mine.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Last weekend when I had to leave my friends behind in Florida.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Depends on what my mood is at the time.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Turkey
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would hope so
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Not beyond this blog.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Rice Krispies or Apple Jacks
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Rarely
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I think I am average
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Black Cherry Vanilla
14. SHOE SIZE? 8
15. RED OR PINK? Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? That I am such an introvert.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My second family, who live down in Florida
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Green pajama bottoms and bare feet
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? ceiling fan and the TV on in the other room.
20. WHERE IS THE ONE PLACE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE RIGHT NOW? Florida
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Yellow
22. FAVORITE SMELL? Anything tropical... coconut, pineapple, beach
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mom
24. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Their smile
25. FAVORITE DRINK? Black Cherry Vanilla Coke
26. FAVORITE SPORT? Football, as a spectator
27. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Yellow
28. HAT SIZE? LG or XL... I have always had a big head and my mom never lets me forget it.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes
30. FAVORITE FOOD? BBQ
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings
32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? T-shirt sold as a fund raiser for the family of a guy I worked with after he passed suddenly.
33. SUMMER OR WINTER? Fall really but if these are my only choices, Winter
34. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs
35. FAVORITE DESSERT? Ice Cream
36. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Right now, just a stack of magazines I have been piling up lately.
37. WHAT'S ON THE MOUSE PAD? Mickey as the Sorecers Apprentice.
38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Grey's Anatomy
39. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SOUNDS? Waves crashing on the beach or rain falling.
40. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Guam
41. WHAT ARE YOUR SPECIAL TALENTS? People always tell me I am blessed to have the patience to deal with 3 year olds in Sunday School all the time.
42 AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Denver
43. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? No one, just wanted to join in.
44. WHAT DAY IS IT? Monday
Now here's the scoop: You're supposed to let me know in the comments that you are going to respond on your blog, then I can read about you too! It's great to get to know people!

Weekend of R&R

Well, the longest week finally ended. My parents and I had a nice steak dinner last night and walked out and it was cold and misty... not rainy but misty. This morning I woke up and it felt like it does in the winter time and it has snowed outside... but it was just because I had left my ceiling fan on all night so it was cold in my room. It has been cloudy all day. Not a lot of rain but enough so it feels like an early fall day before it's cold enough to snow. I would actually be ecstatic if it snowed but I think I would be crazy to expect it to actually snow. The local news website says it is only 57 out and the high is supposed to be 67, don't know if it will make it though. Sunday should be comfortable in the low 70s and Monday is described as "perfect" with a high of 80. I like the cold, cloudy, rainy days myself. I sometimes think I would love to live in Seattle but after a couple days of this, I usually crave a little sunshine. Plus the one time I was in Seattle, it rained only three times during the whole week and once was in the middle of the night. So I think I have a bit of as false perception of what it is like there.

Is it over yet?

I swear this has been one of the longest weeks ever. I feel like last weekend was ages ago. Of course it doesn't help that we have been really slow at work and therefore the work days drag on... Next week will be rough too. The whole 2 days I am working. After the long Labor Day weekend, I will work 2 days and then I am off to sunny Florida on Thursday to visit friends. They just had a baby on July 6th and I am soo excited to see him and his big sister. I saw them back in May before the baby. I will just hang there and visit... maybe go to the beach. Nothing too exciting like Disney or anything. I would love to do Disney but I am really broke right now. I just bought a new car a couple months ago. It's a 2006 Honda Civic and I LOVE IT!!!! The only thing is that means I now have car payments again, insurance went up a bit and now I have to go get my tags for it tomorrow. It's gonna hurt the pocketbook. But I have vacation to look forward to.

My Dreams

Well, as you can see from my links here, I am completely and totally intrigued with adoption. Specifically China adoption. I am not currently in the adoption process but I truly hope to be in the not too distant future. It will all depend on a few things falling in place. First, I want to buy a house. Then as soon as I have that covered, I can start to more seriously consider adoption. I have a strong pull toward China however, that may not be possible by the time I am ready. The Chinese government requires that an adoptive parent be at least 30... I am only 27, so I have a few years to wait. Right now there have been mumblings of China not allowing singles to adopt anymore so I may have to go in a different direction. Yes, I am single... some may ask why would I make the conscious decision to be a single parent. Trust me, I know that is a big deal. The thing is, I have always wanted to be two things in my life, a wife and a mother. Truthfully, the wife thing doesn't show a whole lot of promise right now. But just because that may never happen, I am not willing to give up my dream of being a mother quite yet. I drive down the street and imagine what it would be like to have a little girl in the back seat and singing with her... it seems so real. I know, I could wait a little longer and adopt a bit later in life... but I want to be a young mom, I want to be able to get down on the floor with them and play and run in the park with them. So eventually this may become my adoption blog but for the time being, it will be about my dreams and what my life really is.