Sunday, November 07, 2010

How?

How do you want to find out your grandmother has died? I was asked this tonight. How do you answer a question like that? It was a valid question, one that I need to figure out the answer to. Cause it will happen and for me it is going to happen soon. My grandmother, my mother's mother, is dying. I have only had 6 weeks to wrap my head around it. She was diagnosed with advanced cancer 7 1/2 weeks ago. She decided not to fight it. Honestly, with as fast as it has gone, even if she did fight it, I don't believe it would have made any difference. I saw her 2 weeks ago at my cousins wedding reception, and while she was in a wheelchair, she still looked good, all things considered. It's hard to believe how quicly things have gone downhill. Yesterday afternoon, the family was told maybe a week, later last night, it was a few days. I cringe when the phone rings. Afraid that it is going to be the call. My mom asked me tonight what I wanted them to do if it happens while I am at work. I don't know what to say. I know what I want to say... "It's not going to happen so why ask." But I have to face reality, it is going to happen. Do I want a phone call? Do I want someone to come get me? There are many things in life we don't want to think about. This is one of them. And I better go figure it out. The situation is going to come sooner than later.

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