Brrrr..... Need I say more?

Slashlight

Libby is a bit quirky. Although what little kid isn't, right? At my grandparents house, she keeps a "slashlight" in a basket on the back of the toilet for when she goes in there. She turns on the light, gets her little seat put on and the stool in place then turns the light off and uses her "slashlight" while she is using the restroom. Why she does this, I have no idea but it's so adorable.

Hooray, hooray, it's Thanksgiving Day!

I know that it is really the day after but I was exhausted when I finally got home last night that I didn't even turn my computer on. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving Day!

You See... I Have This Friend

I have this friend. She works with me. She is a real sweetheart. She is also going through a lot lately. She has a tendency to have moments of insecurity. What she needs... is the Lord. Leaning on my faith and the knowledge that God has a reason for everything in our lives, is what has gotten be through the last 2 1/2 months. I want my friend to know that peace, know that if she puts her situation in the hands of the Lord, everything will work out for the better. I have never been the type to be pushy with my faith. I witness through my actions. I have invited her to church many times. I feel that God has put her in my life for this reason. Maybe this isn't the only reason, but it is one of them. Praying for her to be receptive to giving not only her situation to the Lord but also her life. Her life would be so much more fulfilling.

Praise You In This Storm

I have been in a bit of a funk the last couple days. It is because I am missing this little girl:

We lost her 2 1/2 months ago. She would have turned 10 months ago yesterday. I think of the things we would be experiencing with her. She would be tasting new foods, standing up, cruising along the furniture, maybe even getting ready to walk. We will never know. I think about her everyday. I don't cry as much as I used to but every now and then I have a bad day and I just have myself a good cry. Casting Crowns (a Christian band) was on K-Love today and they played this song. I think it was appropriate for the way I have been feeling the last couple days.


Praise You In This Storm
by:Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen," and it's still raining.

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
I life my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

I have come catching up to do...

I have been a real blog slacker lately. I don't really know why. I have kept myself super busy and time has flown by so much quicker than I can imagine. Where in the world did September and October go? Here we are, a week since Halloween and now just 3 short weeks until we celebrate my absolute favorite holiday, Thanksgiving.

The last time I posted was a day of unbelievable grief, confusion and utter pain. The few weeks following Caitie's passing were so incredibly difficult. Thanks to a wonderfully close family and great friends, I have slowly found my way out of the dark days right after. Shortly after losing her, I started thinking of ways I could make sure she was never forgotten (not that we will ever forget those precious 7 months). First I have decided to get a tattoo. I am going to have to wait till I have the extra money for it, but eventually it will happen. It will be a daisy with 7 petals (for her 7 months of life). I have actually designed what I want. Now please keep in mind, I am in no way an artist and I will be looking for someone to take my rough sketch and clean it up a little bit but this will give you an idea.

The weekend after Caitie's funeral, I was able to escape for a few days. I was off to Florida to visit friends and see my 3 week old "nephew" Gabe. Spent some time with all my Florida kids and some time at the beach as well. It was a real fun weekend.

The rest of September was really just spent trying to muck through life and grieving. October started off a great month really. The first weekend we took Libby to Anderson Farms and played and picked some pumpkins. My friend Linda and her little boy Mason (who is just a couple weeks younger than Libby) joined us for the day. It was a fun day.

I have been attending a Thursday night young adults group for a few months now and I had never really gotten to know anyone. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and decided to join them on the ladies retreat. Once I made a connection with someone, I really started to get to know others. I went to a movie with group of them, went to a party and then had the privilege of spending a weekend with 9 other girls in Silverthorne and really getting to know them. It was a great time and I am looking forward to building friendships with them all. (sorry, some of the pictures are kinda small on here but I had to pull them off FB as they aren't all my pics).

The end of October brought our first big snow storm of the season. We had somewhere between 2 and 3 feet of snow at the house that's what happens when it snow for 50+ hours straight). I love it. The snow is pretty much gone now with the exception of the piles left by plows and the little bits that are in areas that are always shaded. We were setting record highs less than a week after the snow. Typical Colorado...

On November 2nd, I got to meet The Pioneer Woman. If you don't read her blog, you should (http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/). It's hilarious. She wrote a cookbook and she was here for a signing. There were a TON of people there and I had to wait 2+ hours for my turn. I have already cooked a meal from it for the family (with the help of my cousin). They liked it so much, they "hired" us to cook a meal for them once a month. I got to thinking, doesn't "hire" imply payment??? I will have to have a talk with them... ;-)

(The roast before it was put in the oven to cook, it was just so pretty, I had to get a pic)

Now to look forward to the things I have planned for the next 9 months. Not everything is set in stone but they are at least possibilities to look forward to.

-Thanksgiving. I love this holiday. Just spending time with family enjoying a wonderful meal. No rushing around, buying gifts for everyone... just family and giving thanks for all the blessings God has bestowed upon us this last year. This year will be difficult because we will be missing one very important member of the family but we can still give thanks for the time we had her with us.

-I have numerous Christmas parties before Christmas and actually have to decide between a couple on the same night.

-Christmas!!!!

-Cruise to Mexico! I will be taking a cruise with my parents for my birthday. I will have a blog set up for that as well. Look for it!

-The end of March will find my best friend Dawn out here in Colorado! It is my birthday gift to her, and to be honest, it is a gift for me as well. It will be just her coming out (wish I could fly the whole family out though). We will spend the weekend together and will close it out with a night of theater. Mary Poppins is in Denver and we have tickets! It will be so much fun!

-At the end of May, I am going to a conference. It's the Set-Apart Girl conference. I am looking forward to it and will let you know more about it later.

-The week after the conference, I hope to make it out for a visit with friends. Don't know if it will be Florida or not. We will see where God moves between then and now.

-July may bring me to Indianapolis with Ashlee and Libby in tow. We will be able to visit family and friends out there and I am looking forward to the possibility.

-There will be many more plans made between now and then. This is my life right now.

I have a few more pictures I want to share but this post is plenty long already. Will save those for another day.

How Do You Say Goodbye?

Vacation Spots

So over at Kelly's Korner, she has asked us to share our favorite vacation spots. While I haven't participated much in the past, vacation is something I know a thing or two about. The hard part is coming up with my favorite spot, or even just a couple. So I am just going to share a few here, in no particular order here they are:

Anywhere you will find these kiddos and their parents. Right now it happens to be Daytona Beach, FLMe, J and C at the beach~ it was just a bit windy and cloudy that day.

Disney World~ The Happiest Place on Earth.

Meeting Minnie at Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party

Cinderella's Castle lit up at Christmas

Glenwood Springs, CO ~ Been going here my entire life.

Hawaii ~ I took a cruise around the islands and it was wonderful!!!!

Sunrise at Haleakala Crater on Maui

Waves breaking on the Big Island of Hawai'i

Napali Coast ~ Kauai

Me at Waimea Canyon ~ Kauai

Ireland

Blarney Castle

Kissing the Blarney Stone

Waterville

San Francisco





There are so many more I could show you... Savannah, GA; NYC; Washington, DC; Caribbean islands. I guess you could say my favorite vacation destination is the World!

I Let Go

Anxiety has been overwhelming me for the last 7 months. While I have done an okay job of masking it (at times there was just no containing it) it has truly been affecting me in my daily life. From being distracted and unproductive at work, to worrying about it on a daily basis, to feeling like I was failing, my life has been overcome with it. I was gong to explain where the anxiety was focused but just thinking about it, stresses me out. Let's just say, it has to do with these two little ladies:



Let's just say that they don't have the most upstanding of parents. Dad uses them as pawns in his games, Mom, while I do believe she loves them, really would rather be out partying and having fun than to be home taking care of them and spending time with them. To give you an idea, mothers day: She has them since it is MOTHER'S DAY... she leaves them with my grandparents and goes out so her friends can take her out for dinner for mother's day. I know it isn't just me, that thinks that is messed up. Anyway, for the majority of the year, I was worried sick about them and where they were going to be and there was NOTHING I could do, except pray. And I know that is huge, but when you want to get up and physically do something
(or knock someone upside the head) it makes it really hard to give the situation over to God.

Things were getting really bad for me just before I went on my trip in May. I decided that while, I was gone, I wouldn't think about the bad aspects of the situation at all. For the most part, I didn't. For 2 weeks, I focused on my friends and myself. I enjoyed my trip. Although I did miss those two girls terribly (went a month without seeing them and THAT was rough). The break did me good. Shortly after I returned, I finally told my cousin (Mom) that I was sick and tired of her saying she was going to do something and then doing NOTHING. She didn't fight, she didn't care and it ticked me off!!! And I let her know that too. After, that, I decided, that I wasn't going to worry about it. I can't worry about it. I let go and Let GOD. All I can do is PRAY. And I have been doing a lot of that for them. Even though the divorce and custody is all finished, things can change, quick. I pray for their safety when they are with dad, I don't trust him and it scares the heck out of me to know that he is "responsible" for them. When they are with mom, they are living at my grandparents and I know for a fact they are safe there. But when they are with dad, I pray that God will protect them and that they will always know that they are loved by so many. If you feel it on your heart to pray for them, those prayers would be appreciated and I know God will hear them.

Show Us Where You Live

I haven't been participating in this but when I saw that it was bathrooms, I actually wanted to jump in here. I redid my bathroom recently and I love it so much that I actually love to share it. The color is a little extreme but LOVE it. I still have to do the floor, I want to tile it but that is a cost that I decided to wait to spend. I actually started with the shower curtain and went from there. My friends in Florida gave me the little guy on the counter as a gift (it was a bunch of stuff to make me think of the beach here in landlocked Colorado) and I thought I would complete the look and have a couple. On the wall that isn't shown, I used robe hooks in place of a towel rod. It's so much easier than the rod. I have a canvas painting I picked up in the Caribbean that I want to get stretched and framed that I plan on hanging above the hooks. Enjoy!

Bullseye

That is what I am now convinced I have on my car. My sweet beloved Honda. I got it in July 2006, my first brand new car. I had to wait 6 weeks for it to come in from the factory. In November, a mere 4 months after I got her, someone ran into my rear drivers side door when I was turning into the parking lot at work. I had to drive a rental car for a month while it was in the body shop. Fast forward to the summer of 2007, I went out to leave for work and there was a huge crack in the windshield! I had to pay over $350 for a new windshield. December that same year I had been at the movies and when I got outside and had the heater running and proceeded to watch the windshield crack all the way across the bottom. I cried thinking about how much it would cost me yet again, right before Christmas no less. Since the crack was at the bottom, I put it off... For over a year. I finally got it fixed in February his year. This morning I was driving to work and a big truck kicked up a rock from the road and it hit my windshield putting a big old chip in it. I was soooooo mad! I leave for my road trip in a mere 2 weeks. I really can't afford to be paying for a new windshield now and I certainly can't be driving cross country with a cracked windshield. Thank goodness it didn't crack before I could get the glass company to repair it. Now I am just praying that the bullseye will stay away from me while driving the open road!

Wordless Wednesday

Manic Monday

So I'm gonna give this daily blogging thing a shot. If I don't have anything to talk about, I will use some of the many blog meme's that are out there. Monday's will be Manic Monday. Here we go...

Are you a saver or a spender?

Unfortunately I would fall under the category of a spender. I am usually spending on trips or gifts. I figure at this point in my life, I don't have responsibilities such as children. I am going to enjoy my life while I am young. There are so many things in life to experience that unfortunately require money... Don't get me wrong, I am not a shopaholic or anything, I just like to take the little bit of extra money I have and either fly off for a long weekend in FL or buy a little something for someone special.

Do you prefer to walk around barefoot in your home? Shoes? Socks?

The minute I walk in the door, the shoes come off. In the winter, I keep socks on (my feet get really cold), in the summer, I even try to wear shoes with as little fabric/straps as possible. If I could, I would only wear flip flops in the summer, unfortunately that is not a fesible option since I do have to go to work...

Do you talk to yourself?

Not really. If I am frustrated I will but in general I don't.

iPod Touch giveaway

Katja is giving away and iPod touch over at Skimbaco Lifestyle go check it out!

Desperate Plea for Prayer

Please pray for my cousins upcoming court date on Monday.
Specifically pray for:
The judge to listen to both sides and see the untruths that are being told.
My cousin to be strong, stand up for herself and fight for her little girl who is the one who is really being hurt in all this.
My grandmother who hopes to be able to speak in court and testify to the reality of the situation and the negative impact this is all having on a precious little girl who needs to be kept safe.
That I can take the time off work Monday morning to be able to be there to not only possibly speak but to be a part of the support system my cousin so desparately needs to have behind her right now.
That the father tells no more lies to manipulate the system to hurt my cousin.
That our family can be strong through this.
That the little girl in the middle of what is possibly going to be a very ugly custody battle, will stay safe, happy and soon be in a home where she can be joyful, and not afraid.

Disney, the big 3-0 and Caitlin Maree

One really has nothing to do with the other, just thinking about both of them tonight. First I leave for Disneyland in California in 3 days. I am really excited, although the trip coming up means one thing... my birthday is soon too. I never really thought that I would mind turning 30, but right now I am not so happy about it. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought I would still be single, childless and still living at home at this time in my life. I really do want to just stay 29 for a bit longer. I told my grandpa tonight that if I could stay 29, he could stay 77, and not have to turn 80 in a few years. If only that were a plan either one of us could stick to. I REALLY, REALLY DO NOT WANT TO BE 30!!!! I am taking my laptop with me so I am hoping to blog on it daily, and I will be able to post pictures too. Nothing real exciting but for those who would like to join me, come along...

Daydreamer in the House of the Mouse

On a much happier note... I just want to say... Caitlin Maree, we cannot wait to meet you and love you for the rest of your life, but if you could please do me a big favor and make sure you don't come early and wait at least until I am back from California.